Tuesday, March 16, 2004
So I just learned of some news (which should be wonderful, but not in this case) and I need a minute to vent. My brother and his wife are expecting another baby. This should fill my heart with joy but it is the furthest possible thing from that. Let me explain, my sister-in-law is nuts. This will also be baby #4!! Their youngest is almost 6. The oldest is 9 and is special needs also. The poor middle one is 8 and only has 1 kidney and is limited in any kind of physical contact sport or skating, sledding, etc. I just don't know how to say all of this without sounding like a first class bitch...so I'm apologizing now...
My brother is a great catch. And she has snagged him good. She said she was on the pill with baby #1...and she's not a good mother. Not to my standards anyway....she takes care of them in the sense of bathing and feeding, except the middle of the night ones...that's my brothers job. She is just not a nuturing, loving mother at all. She yells constantly and doesn't ever follow up with a hug. I'm not the world's perfect mother, this I know, but my babies are not starved for a mothers love. They do in fact witness me as "the hulk" on occasion, but not often and I always feel like shit afterwards.
My brother works in a factory where he is a foreman and makes about the limit as far as hourly rates go. He has decent insurance and he also works pt for the township servicing roads and things. He then must vacuum and do piles of laundry and clear a path to the couch if he wants to see the carpet. He works so hard and takes care of the kids while she eats and sleeps and watches (and believes) tv all damn day. She thinks the people on Jerry Springer are for real for pete's sake.
Ok, to give her a tiny bit of slack, her family is nutso!! Like co-co-nuts!! She keeps house the same way her mother did. Not that I'm a neat freak by any means, but I can have some unexpected company and not have to feel as though they may become lost in the ruins. Her family was and still is very mean and hateful toward them both. Her brothers have both been in jail for dui's and domestic violence and her parents think they walk on water. They treat her and my brother like shit and all he does is take care of his family on a fairly small income and never asks anyone for anything. The only assistance the ever get is WIC, which is a wonderful program, that we only made like a hundred bucks too much to get. She loves my brother fiercely and she even loves the kids...in her own wierd way. You have to feel a little sorry for her because she doesn't know how (because she herself did not have) to be a loving mother.
My poor mom is taking all the family heat because she's the go-to girl in the family. Like she's the one in the bedroom over there who has any power. She told him and everyone else that they could have 10 kids for all she cares. She's not the one who must feed and clothe them. Her job is to love them. I'm a little worried about her though. She worries so much for his sake.
I voiced a suspicion to her tonight that she later told me she thought of as well which is literally the straw that broke the camel's back....I told her that I could easily see my s-i-l poking holes through the condom wrappers with a pin. She's just that kind of sneaky. She's worried that she will have to return to work once the youngest is in school. Big family joke because she's been fired from everywhere....and she's only had a couple of fast food flings in high school.
I worry for my brother and I worry for my nieces and nephew. I also am now worrying for this unborn child who will never know a loving mothers touch. I love my family so very much and I show them that in millions of ways on a daily basis. Ever had a little kid say, "mom, that's enough lovin'"??? I'm close to mauling them sometimes....what a mess.
Ultimately I'm with my mom, they take care of themselves and do not ask help from anyone. They are good with budgeting and it'll work itself out..
But, she'd better thank her lucky stars she wasn't married to me. I'd throw that damn tv and the phone into the street and I'd dismantle the car and I'd say, "get this house cleaned up and then we'll talk". I would not live in a complete pig sty. And I most certainly would not work two jobs and do all of the housework when she is able to stay home...not to mention taking care of 3 soon to be 4 children.
I'm glad they are two hours from me. Sorry to be so gripy. Needed to unload.
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My brother is a great catch. And she has snagged him good. She said she was on the pill with baby #1...and she's not a good mother. Not to my standards anyway....she takes care of them in the sense of bathing and feeding, except the middle of the night ones...that's my brothers job. She is just not a nuturing, loving mother at all. She yells constantly and doesn't ever follow up with a hug. I'm not the world's perfect mother, this I know, but my babies are not starved for a mothers love. They do in fact witness me as "the hulk" on occasion, but not often and I always feel like shit afterwards.
My brother works in a factory where he is a foreman and makes about the limit as far as hourly rates go. He has decent insurance and he also works pt for the township servicing roads and things. He then must vacuum and do piles of laundry and clear a path to the couch if he wants to see the carpet. He works so hard and takes care of the kids while she eats and sleeps and watches (and believes) tv all damn day. She thinks the people on Jerry Springer are for real for pete's sake.
Ok, to give her a tiny bit of slack, her family is nutso!! Like co-co-nuts!! She keeps house the same way her mother did. Not that I'm a neat freak by any means, but I can have some unexpected company and not have to feel as though they may become lost in the ruins. Her family was and still is very mean and hateful toward them both. Her brothers have both been in jail for dui's and domestic violence and her parents think they walk on water. They treat her and my brother like shit and all he does is take care of his family on a fairly small income and never asks anyone for anything. The only assistance the ever get is WIC, which is a wonderful program, that we only made like a hundred bucks too much to get. She loves my brother fiercely and she even loves the kids...in her own wierd way. You have to feel a little sorry for her because she doesn't know how (because she herself did not have) to be a loving mother.
My poor mom is taking all the family heat because she's the go-to girl in the family. Like she's the one in the bedroom over there who has any power. She told him and everyone else that they could have 10 kids for all she cares. She's not the one who must feed and clothe them. Her job is to love them. I'm a little worried about her though. She worries so much for his sake.
I voiced a suspicion to her tonight that she later told me she thought of as well which is literally the straw that broke the camel's back....I told her that I could easily see my s-i-l poking holes through the condom wrappers with a pin. She's just that kind of sneaky. She's worried that she will have to return to work once the youngest is in school. Big family joke because she's been fired from everywhere....and she's only had a couple of fast food flings in high school.
I worry for my brother and I worry for my nieces and nephew. I also am now worrying for this unborn child who will never know a loving mothers touch. I love my family so very much and I show them that in millions of ways on a daily basis. Ever had a little kid say, "mom, that's enough lovin'"??? I'm close to mauling them sometimes....what a mess.
Ultimately I'm with my mom, they take care of themselves and do not ask help from anyone. They are good with budgeting and it'll work itself out..
But, she'd better thank her lucky stars she wasn't married to me. I'd throw that damn tv and the phone into the street and I'd dismantle the car and I'd say, "get this house cleaned up and then we'll talk". I would not live in a complete pig sty. And I most certainly would not work two jobs and do all of the housework when she is able to stay home...not to mention taking care of 3 soon to be 4 children.
I'm glad they are two hours from me. Sorry to be so gripy. Needed to unload.
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