Monday, April 26, 2004
Do you ever want to be free? I mean free from responsibilities, bills, the phone, the husband, the kids, the life you consider normal? I had a day like that Sunday. No matter where I went or what I did my nerves were on edge. I am not particularly fond of this feeling. I don't like not liking my life. All day I just wished there was a switch that I could flip to set me free. I felt lonely although I was constantly surrounded by my family. I think that was the problem. Too much family fun. Or rather, too much family time and not enough fun.
You see, it is spring and the fish are biting. Hooray for Mike. I think that my melancholy mood stemmed from a slight shunning from my husband. I get myself into trouble when I expect him to be a bit romantic. He simply is not. If I spell it all out...he'll gladly play the role...it's just not something he thinks up on his own. I was ready on Saturday night for a date. A movie, some candles, even a blow job wouldn't have been out of the question......but he fished until 11:30 and I was asleep on the couch. He finished watching the movie by himself and covered me up and then went to bed. He has never been the epitomy of romance so I don't know why I let myself become hopeful...
So I think my mood on Sunday was just frustration. I wanted some sex and I didn't get it and I'm sick and fucking tired of initiating it. I feel like some kind of nympho freak. And that is irritating. So then I struggle with that. Besides, I like to be chased around a little...I spend my entire life being the boss....taking care of the kids, the house, the yard, blah, blah.......and I've been on this diet for a full week now...and I've been great! So seriously, is it too much to ask..a little attention for me for a change? Is that the most selfish thing you've ever heard?
Toby said it best......"I like to talk about you, you, you, you, usually.....but, occasionally, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME!!!!!!!
So, tomorrow's another day.....and I'm thirsty anyway....so bring on the rain.
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You see, it is spring and the fish are biting. Hooray for Mike. I think that my melancholy mood stemmed from a slight shunning from my husband. I get myself into trouble when I expect him to be a bit romantic. He simply is not. If I spell it all out...he'll gladly play the role...it's just not something he thinks up on his own. I was ready on Saturday night for a date. A movie, some candles, even a blow job wouldn't have been out of the question......but he fished until 11:30 and I was asleep on the couch. He finished watching the movie by himself and covered me up and then went to bed. He has never been the epitomy of romance so I don't know why I let myself become hopeful...
So I think my mood on Sunday was just frustration. I wanted some sex and I didn't get it and I'm sick and fucking tired of initiating it. I feel like some kind of nympho freak. And that is irritating. So then I struggle with that. Besides, I like to be chased around a little...I spend my entire life being the boss....taking care of the kids, the house, the yard, blah, blah.......and I've been on this diet for a full week now...and I've been great! So seriously, is it too much to ask..a little attention for me for a change? Is that the most selfish thing you've ever heard?
Toby said it best......"I like to talk about you, you, you, you, usually.....but, occasionally, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ME!!!!!!!
So, tomorrow's another day.....and I'm thirsty anyway....so bring on the rain.
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